“Failure is the battle scar of someone who tried.”

Picked up this little illustrated book called “Mistakes that worked – 40 familiar inventions and how they came to be” by Charlotte Foltz Jones today in the USP Reading Room. It was a kiddy like book that mentioned things like Coca-cola, the ice cream cone, chocolate chip cookies, etc. – not as interesting as I thought it’d be but I liked the title.

It reminded me a bit of the some things that were shared during the VCF camp Crossroads, of how we’re “allowed” to make mistakes… how God foresees our “mistakes” and making “mistakes” doesn’t mean we’ve fallen out of God’s will. As Christians, living life according to God’s will doesn’t mean walking a tightrope, but trusting that God places each and every one of our steps on solid ground.

I’ll be the first to admit that even though I know this, I’m someone who is very afraid of making mistakes. I hate failing, and wouldn’t even bother trying if I thought I didn’t have a good chance of making it. Over the years this has translated into procrastination in doing work and studying for exams, in half-hearted efforts to finish essays attend classes. Naturally this makes the prospect of failure a very self-fulfilling prophecy, and I recognise that. (Not that I’ve never tried hard. I have, but somehow trying hard often hasn’t resulted in very good outcomes either, and that doesn’t really help much.)

But what to do? Old habits die hard. I console myself by thinking that God can make use of my failures too, but how have I been a good steward of all the opportunities given to me over the years? One month and one day left til I’m done and finished with my formal education, probably for life. I must say I’m rather disappointed with myself, and a month and a day seem hardly enough to make up for the past 16 or so years.

Yet somehow, I don’t know… it’s the beginning of something new… and all this baggage I’m carrying with me – God will have a use for them… somehow. I suppose graduation is not quite a reset, although I wish it were. These things seem to catch up with you. Faith in God tells me that I need not recognise the past’s hold on me any longer, but in practice that is much harder to achieve.

In any case, the original intention of this post was to share the quote above, that I found in the book. Arguably, failure can also be the scar of someone who didn’t try… But I’d really much rather be a fighter than a wimp.

(Verse 1)
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I’m making them yours

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Verse 2)
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, alll of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

(Bridge)
What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we’re living
That’s what we give to you, Lord

- “I Offer My Life” by Don Moen